Well this is it, really. Park Lane is an importer; every month we worsen the trade deficit a little bit as shipments of delicious bubbly head their way over to us from La Belle France.
All in the justification of needs must: as Churchill reminded us (seemingly of Napoleon’s quote before him) “in victory we deserve it [champagne] and in defeat we need it”. Simple. You need it so we import it to keep the supply of personalised champagne flowing.
But I am amazed. In this modern World where even the VAT returns must be filed online, the manual paperwork that accompanies each champagne import is huge with stern penalties if a single bit doesn’t get to the right place - whoever’s fault it is.

And at the coal face, this is what it looks like when Eric (on this occasion) the French haulier pulls up at Frith straight off Le Tunnel ready to discharge 8 pallets of France’s finest.
BUT, to redress the balance in part we have been delighted to send another tranche of animals across La Manche to the ever-fragrant and delicious Helena (and her hubby Patrick). This was not without tribulation as “monsieur le chauffeur” encountered animal rights first hand; while having a tacho rest after leaving us before heading to Poole, his truck was pounced on and the police called. I had to negotiate an emergency resolve (and get the woman lying down in front of the wheels in protest at the cruelty of moving animals - to move), as well as getting the Old Bill to let him on his way. Oh, and did I mention the paperwork for live animal export? No? Probably best as it is beyond belief in complexity and depth: ministry license, animal health license, BCMS cross-check, TB test (don’t mention the badgers), vet inspection, journey log, etc. Didn’t see a box for animal rights protesters, though.
Is this all a day in the life of? Maybe. Perhaps I need to have a word with new neighbour Peter Andre about getting an autobio going as I understand he has some experience in that arena?!
At least the beasts did not look too traumatised when they headed off in search of forage (or frog’s legs, or vin de table, or whatever) on arrival in France.



Bonnes vacances!



Amid all the Election fever - and are those party leader
The quality of the personalised champagne labels will actually be better than photograph output from next month so what more of an excuse is needed to break out the bubbly?
Nope, not Google fruit but genuine champagne grape fruit!
Effectively this is pressed juice that cannot be used for a certain time and which is intended to subsidise yield in the event of a truly awful harvest in the future. 2,000kg/hectare headed to top the blockage stocks up to their maximum limit this year and the balance of the juice went off to become industrial alcohol. As it was such a prolific harvest, the producers could afford to be highly selective - hence why so many grapes were left for the birds. Interestingly, it was mainly black grapes that I spotted on the vines across the region.
as a sort of demand stimulus, particularly while the £/€ equation is so horrid.
There will be a glut of supermarket cut price champagne offers in the UK this year as we run up to Christmas. In fact, this has been the pattern for the past few years so no change there. These headline grabbers are highly restricted offers and are being subsidised by the supermarkets so they can secure our grocery purchases at the same time. Scary fact: Tesco handles 1 in every 4 bottles of wine sold in the UK as an “off” sale, according to the Daily Telegraph on Saturday!



